


the thousand acre wood

by EliteDelieght, punkrockbadger



Series: rewrite potter [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, POC Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliteDelieght/pseuds/EliteDelieght, https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockbadger/pseuds/punkrockbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone agrees that Harry Potter's life would be very different if Lily and James had survived. But how would our beloved Sassmaster Potter navigate such horrors as big brotherhood, parents hugging him in public and losing teeth? This collection of childhood moments seeks to address that dearth of information.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Messes Made Of Makeup [April 1983]

**Author's Note:**

> All chapters will be marked with the year in the title and chapter notes, because they likely will not be chronological at all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finds Lily's makeup bag. It does not end well for James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 23  
> Harry-- 2

[4:20]

"In hindsight", James says to Remus, "I should have known that it was just too goddamn quiet."

"That's the thing, with two year olds." Remus says, shaking his head. He's had his fair share of nephews and nieces, but none as scary as the child playing innocently on the sofa before them. "It's when it gets too quiet that you've got to be scared."

Harry giggles, the edge of the pillow that he's been chewing on for the last few minutes falling out of his mouth.

"Now, how the  _hell_ are we getting his face clean before Lily gets home in", James paused to check his watch, "ten minutes?"

"Elbow grease." Remus replies, grabbing the now squirming two year old, before marching off to the bathroom, holding the two year old at arm's length.

James frowns, sniffing his elbows just in case, before hurriedly following Remus to the bathroom.

They were full out of elbow grease, but some part of him feels like maybe that _i_ _sn't_ what Remus meant.

* * *

[4:02]

"Hari?" James called, looking up and down the hallway. Harry had toddled down it a few minutes ago, but James hadn't heard a single sound from his son in nearly five minutes. He noticed the light on in the bathroom and his breath caught in his chest before he rushed in to find Harry sitting on the counter, having climbed up using the stepping stool they'd just bought a few days ago, gleefully rifling through Lily's makeup bag with his back to the door. "Hari, kanna, put that down. Not safe for eating and stuff."

"Appa?" Harry looked up at the sound of James' voice, turning around eagerly to greet his father, and James stifled a laugh, desperately trying to remain serious. Harry'd obviously decided that the items in the bag were something like the crayons and markers he regularly drew on himself with and had done the same thing with these, leaving his face a veritable rainbow of colors. "Wha's wrong?"

"Nothing, Hari. Absolutely nothing." James backed out of the doorway. "You stay right there, buddy. Okay? Daddy's gotta get something."

"Okay, Appa!" Harry called out, rubbing his hands together to try and clean up. Of course, that only made it worse, and he pouted at the mirror, not noticing his father coming back in with the camera.

"Can you smile for Appa, Hari?" James asked, doing his best to remain calm as his son grinned wide, posing for the photograph as dramatically as always. "Perfect. Now we've got to get somebody who knows this stuff to get you clean, huh?"

"Moomy!" Harry clapped his hands as James picked him up, zipping the bag shut to avoid Harry wreaking any more havoc. "Moomy call!"

"You're right. Moony can help, probably. He knows how these things work." James mused, setting Harry up on the couch with a toy before throwing some Floo Powder into the fireplace. "Padfoot's Pad!"

* * *

[4:30]

Lily stepped through the fireplace, looking around the living room in a slight state of shock. Everything was clean and exactly in place, something she'd never have expected after a day of James and Harry alone together. James' actions were telling, as always, and the slight shaking of his hands was proof enough that something had likely happened in her absence and Remus was probably involved in the cover up. "What happened?"

James swallowed hard, digging the picture he'd taken earlier from where he'd lodged it between the couch cushions, and passed it to Lily. "He's napping _now_ , but before that..."

"He actually..." Lily chuckled, shaking her head. "I can't wait to show this to him in a couple of years."

"Yeah, really." James relaxed slightly. "He'll throw a fit, he will."

"But", Lily began and James groaned, "don't think you're off the hook for leaving him alone long enough to do this."

"Why does it  _always_ end with me in trouble?" James muttered, scratching his head.


	2. Family of Four [August 1983]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 23  
> Harry-- 4

"Amma!" Harry ran through the open front door towards his mother, who was seated on the couch, a flower he'd found outside in hand. "Got you something!"

Lily put the Potions book she'd been reading down on the end table before smiling at her son, who had seemingly rolled through a forest to retrieve this flower, judging by how muddy his once clean clothes had become. He'd taken a bath not half an hour before, but she supposed it was the curse of the Potter boys. Even James, who was nearly twenty-four, couldn't keep himself out of mud puddles for too long, so she shouldn't have expected that much out of a four year old. Hopefully, she thought, as her hand drifted to her stomach, this next one would be a little easier in the laundry department."That's a beautiful flower, Harry."

"I know. Cause I made it extra pretty." Harry giggled, eagerly climbing up onto the couch to show her. "Just for you, see? Colors are the same."

He carefully laid the flower against Lily's shirt, nodding proudly as he confirmed that the colors were identical.

"That's really nice of you, Harry." Lily smiled, ruffling his hair, and he took the opportunity to lodge himself in the gap between her arm and torso, snuggling into her side. Harry had always been an exceedingly affectionate child, something that was only increasing in magnitude as he grew, and Lily wondered if he'd ever grow out of it. Hopefully not, because she liked having her little helper always on hand. But she knew from her mother's stories that Petunia had been the same way and then changed abruptly when Lily had been born, and she certainly didn't want Harry ending up like that. 

"Does Amma's tummy hurt?" Harry frowned slightly, poking at the hand that had been absently rubbing her stomach. He leaned over to kiss her hand, nearly falling off the couch in his enthusiasm, and she quickly reached over to pull him back to a sitting position.

"Harry, you know how Ron has lots of brothers and sisters?" Lily began, unsure how to have this conversation with a four year old. "What do you think about that?"

"Ginny's nice. She likes frogs." Harry nodded, curiously looking over Lily. Ron would be angry, if he was going to get another sibling, and Harry didn't like Ron when he was angry. 

"Would you like a little brother or sister?"

Harry paused for a moment, thoughtfully looking around the room, and nodded. The Weasley kids always had someone to play with, and it was awfully lonely sometimes at home with just his parents. His parents and uncles played with him a lot, a lot more than Uncle Arthur and Auntie Molly did with Ron and Ginny, but having other kids around was an entirely different ball game.

"That's why my tummy's getting a little bigger, 'cause there's a baby inside it." Lily pulled Harry's hand over to put it on her stomach. Harry's jaw dropped in surprise, as if wondering how she was fitting an entire baby in her stomach, and Lily chuckled, knowing that she would have worried about the same thing, at that age. "The baby's really small right now, but it's going to grow big. At the beginning of next year, you get to meet the baby when it's born. Does that sound fun?"

"Does everybody have babies in their tummies?" Harry asked, entirely missing the point, and pulled his red and yellow striped shirt up to examine his own stomach. His arms got caught in the folds of fabric, and he flailed them around above his head in an effort to either get the offending garment on or off. "Don't want a baby inside me, Mummy, get it out!"

"You don't have any babies in you, Harry, don't worry." Lily chuckled, gathering Harry up in her arms. He squirmed, still worried, but settled as she kissed the top of his head. "What would you want to name the baby?"

"Uncle Sirius says we should name babies after him 'cause I got Daddy's name in my name." Harry grimaced. "That's  _gross_."

"That is gross." Lily shook her head, sighing. "Maybe it'll be a girl and then he'll finally stop, huh?"

"But I already got Ginny for that." Harry scrunched up his nose, shaking his head. "Can I have a little brother instead? Like Charlie's got Ron?"

"That's something you've got to ask your dad, love." Lily ruffled his hair and he slid out of her arms, nearly tripping over his own feet in his quest to find James. "He's the one that decided what the baby's going to be."

Lily picked her book back up, flipping to her saved page, and didn't even try to imagine how her husband would field that question.


	3. Bedtime Stories [September 1984]

“You want a bedtime story, right?” James asks Harry, who nods so hard that his head might fall right off. “Which one?”

“The elephant one!” Harry declares, looking far too excited to go to bed soon. James groans. He’s told the Gajendra story ten million times this week, and he’s not even going to count how many times he’s told it this month because he’s afraid of the number. How did he end up with the only four year old in the world who doesn’t like variety?

“Okay, okay,” James shoots his son a look and Harry crawls under the covers, pulling them all the way up to his chin. “Once upon a time, there was an elephant king named…”

“Gajendra!” Harry exclaims, eager to participate.

“And all the elephants in the herd loved him very much, because he was their favorite king.” James continues. “One day, Gajendra went to the lake with his elephant friends, and something grabbed onto his leg with its teeth! The animal was a…”

“Crocodile!” Harry blurts out. “A crocodile!”

“Very good! And Gajendra’s friends and family all came to watch him struggle and help him, but nothing could be done. The crocodile was so strong that even the king of all the elephants couldn’t make him let go. Gajendra yelled and yelled and yelled, just like this,” James presses his face into the inner side of his upper arm, imitating the trumpeting of an elephant as best as he can, before continuing with the story, “for someone to come help him. And finally, when Gajendra could fight no longer, he picked up a lotus in his trunk and called out for someone special to save him like, like…”

“Adhimoolame!” Harry yells, imitating James as he presses his face into his arm. He waves his arm around like it’s an elephant trunk, and James grins, ruffling Harry’s hair. “Adhimoolame!”

“And then Vishnu came and cut the crocodile’s head off with the Sudharshana Chakra, and then everybody went home safe. Especially Gajendra, because…” James trails off, leaving it open for Harry to finish.

“Cause he believed in Vishnu to save him!” Harry says, voice just a little quieter. “So Vishnu fixed everything and took him to stay with him forever!”

“Exactly.” James nods, before standing up and walking to the door. “Right, right. Have good dreams. Be like the elephant.”

Harry frowns for a moment, before looking to James. “Appa? Do I always have to call Vishnu?”

“Not always.” James shrugs. “Only for the big things.”

“Can I call you instead? Cause you’re closer.” Harry seems entirely convinced of the truth of this. “For the little stuff.”

“Of course you can.” James nods, waving goodbye before shutting off the lights. Harry burrows into his sheets, pulling them all the way over his head. “I’ll be downstairs, if you need me.”

Harry’s only reply is a really, really sad imitation of James’ elephant noise, and James chuckles as he shuts the door behind him.

What a nerd.


	4. Baby Steps [December 1984]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t take this long, I bet.” He piped up as Sarah focused entirely on putting one foot in front of another. The sound of her brother’s voice had her looking up immediately, a shy smile on her face, and she lost her balance, sitting down hard. “Oh, sorry!”
> 
> “Come on, I’ll get you something interesting to do!” Harry grinned, hopping down from the couch, before grabbing Sarah’s eagerly offered hand. “We’ll take a walk, okay? You and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the-pi-maker on tumblr, who wanted Harry being a good big brother and rediscovering magic post-1981
> 
> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 24  
> Harry-- 4  
> Sarah-- 10 months

Sarah, unlike her brother, was a rather quiet baby.

When Harry was ten months old, he’d been hungry for affection and nearly begging to be carried everywhere, basking gleefully in the attention of the adults around him, but Sarah was the other extreme, preferring only her parents’ company if any at all, and immediately crawling away from the source of any noise.

Of course, that last statement did not apply if the source of the noise was Harry because, as James often joked, Sarah would likely follow him to the ends of the earth without a question to his intentions. And Harry, being himself, took full advantage of this, dragging her along wherever he went, without a care for whose nap time it was or why things such as schedules existed.

Of course, that was much easier to accomplish in December of 1984 than it would have been in May of 1981, as there were three other occupants of the Potter household that demanded James and Lily’s constant attention. Harry, who was already prone to wandering up and getting up to his ears in trouble, only took advantage of this situation to try and impress that upon little Sarah, who had just begun to toddle around with support.

Harry, of course, assumed that she would immediately begin to run around with him, and was almost brought to tears when he realized it would probably be months of slow circuits around the couch, while holding the cushions tightly to keep herself upright, before she’d be able to walk alone. And that was what Sarah was doing, at this particular moment in time, while Harry lay on the couch, bored beyond comprehension.

“I didn’t take this long, I bet.” He piped up as Sarah focused entirely on putting one foot in front of another. The sound of her brother’s voice had her looking up immediately, a shy smile on her face, and she lost her balance, sitting down hard. “Oh, sorry!”

“Come on, I’ll get you something interesting to do!” Harry grinned, hopping down from the couch, before grabbing Sarah’s eagerly offered hand. “We’ll take a walk, okay? You and me.”

Sarah gurgled happily in response, unsteady on her feet despite Harry’s support, and he led her around the house to help her get more comfortable with it. Sarah squealed as the flooring changed from wood to carpet and Harry chuckled, pausing for a second to wiggle his toes. Sarah watched him curiously before trying to replicate the movement, frowning as she moved all of her toes as one unit rather than individually as Harry did.

“You only get to do that when you’re older. ‘Cause your toes are still _baby_ toes.” Harry said, grinning as they began moving again. “When you get all big like me, I’ll show you how to do bunches of cool stuff! Like riding on brooms and swimming and football!”

Sarah blew a raspberry, still frowning, and Harry laughed, shaking his head. “I know you can do better than that.”

They continued along until they’d circled the house a few times, and Harry, absorbed in his thoughts, did not notice Sarah growing tired. It was near four, yes, but he was no longer a baby, and, therefore, too old for naps. And because she was no longer being coddled by Mum and Dad all day, in his mind, Sarah was as well. A simple mistake to make, under any other circumstances, but dangerous when dealing with small children.

“Sarah, watch out. Table coming.” Harry pointed out, just a few seconds before they tried to squeeze through the gap between the couch and table, and gasped as Sarah tripped on the end of the table leg, knocking her head quite hard on the edge of the end table as she fell. “Uh oh.”

Sarah slowly sat up, sniffling slightly, and Harry wondered what the stain on the carpet was before realizing that the red liquid was coming from a cut on Sarah’s forehead. He looked to the stairs first, hearing no noise from upstairs, and pulled the edge of his shirt sleeve down over his palm before rubbing her head as he’d seen his father do when Sarah had taken spills in the past. Of course, that only got everything messy, and he groaned when Sarah began to cry.

“It’s okay, Sarah, Harry’s got you.” He whispered, blinking in surprise as he felt something tingling in his fingers, a rush of something green sweeping out and knitting the edges of the cut back together, leaving no indication that she’d ever fallen behind. Sarah hummed happily, eyes falling shut a few times before she finally fell asleep, and Harry pulled her into his lap, still surprised.

What was that? What had he done to fix everything?

Lily slowly padded downstairs, sighing in relief when she noticed Sarah fast asleep in Harry’s lap, one of his hands patting her head rhythmically to keep her that way.

“Mum?” Harry called out, looking particularly tearful for a child that had, as far as Lily knew, acted quite responsibly in getting his sister to sleep. “Sarah hit her head and I fixed it and she’s okay but—“

Lily gasped as she noticed the blood on the floor, rushing over to Harry and Sarah to find her sleeping peacefully, with no evidence of injury.

“Something—Somethin’ green came out of my fingers and made her okay again and I dunno what it is.” Harry wiggled his fingers around for her benefit.

“That was magic, Harry.” Lily kissed the top of his head, smoothing out his hair. “You did magic just like your dad and I do, except without a wand. That’s why it looked different.”

“I’ve never done that before.” Harry grinned, looking more than a little prideful, and Lily ruffled his hair. Harry had, in fact, done magic before, but not a single time since October of 1981. At least, not a single time until now. “Was cool.”

“I’m sure it was.” Lily smiled, remembering her own first experiences with accidental magic. “Don’t keep doing whatever you were doing, though. You can’t solve every type of hurt with magic, love.”

“I’ll be careful.” Harry nodded, shifting slightly to snuggle into Lily’s shoulder. “Super duper careful.”

“That’s a good boy.” She hugged him tight. “How about we leave Sarah to nap with Daddy and the babies, and my special big boy and I can play a game together?”

“Really?” Harry’s eyes widened. “Sounds _great_!”

“I think so too.” Lily picked up Sarah, rubbing her back as she fussed at the sudden movement, nearly waking before falling right back to sleep, and Harry grabbed onto her free hand as they went back upstairs, excited by the prospect of time alone with Mom.

Red and white sparks flew from Harry’s fingers, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t looking for them, as he smiled.


	5. First Words [April 1985]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 25  
> Harry-- 4  
> Sarah-- 14 months  
> Anne, Drew and Matt-- 4 months

“Appa.” Sarah says calmly, after dinner one Sunday night, while James is busy wrangling a four month old Drew out of his clothes. James doesn’t notice, but who would when their four month old son is refusing to stay still for the thirty seconds necessary for a diaper change? Drew howls angrily, kicking his legs out, and Sarah is, as she often is at fourteen months, stuck waiting her turn for his attention again. 

He hums in response once Drew decides to cooperate again, not noticing who is speaking, because he’s too used to Harry whining in the background that no one cares about him anymore now that there are smaller and cuter people around. Harry, at four, should know better, but they love him anyway.

“Appa.” She repeats, more forcefully, and he sticks the flap on Drew’s diaper down before sighing. 

“Hari, I can’t always be watching you.” He says, as he looks up to find his angry daughter standing right in front of him, a grumpy expression on her face as she stared him down. “Charu, kanna, what’s wrong?”

She sniffs stubbornly before repeating the word James is slowly realizing she had been saying this whole time. “Appa.”

“Very good, kannamma!” James says, ruffling her hair, before hugging her as tightly as possible. “Very good.” He plants a kiss on her cheek and Sarah whines, never one for affection, but pats his face afterward, like she is under the impression he’s far too excited about this. “Amma’s gonna be so mad you didn’t say mum first, isn’t she? Oh, man, I’ve got a genius for a kid.”

“Appa.” She says again, mimicking Lily’s tone when she’s done with James’ dramatics, and he laughs before putting her down to grab Drew, who is fussing again. 

“You’re going to end up in Ravenclaw or something, I swear.”  James says, once he’s confident Drew won’t wiggle out of his grip, and holds out a hand to Sarah, who takes it, toddling along beside him toward the master bedroom, where Lily’s got the other kids. “Little Miss Smartypants.”

“Hey, Lily, we’ve got a genius on her hands.” He calls out, as they enter the room, putting Drew down beside Anne and Matt as he turns to Lily. “Charu, say it again?”

Sarah looks him in the eye, a mischievous smile on her face. “Amma.”


	6. Harry's First Loose Tooth [September 1985]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I-- I don't want to lose all of my teeth!" Harry's eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth a little too roughly, knocking the tooth from its tenuously held place. He swallowed hard, thinking that perhaps he'd loosened a grain of rice previously stuck behind a tooth or something of the sort, and then blinked in surprise when he went to nudge his tooth and found the spot empty. "A--Appa? I think I..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily -- 25  
> Harry -- 5  
> Sarah -- 19 months  
> Anne, Drew and Matt -- 9 months

"Appa?" Harry pushed his loose tooth back with a finger and then nudged it back into place with his tongue, wiggling it back and forth. "Look, it's moving!"

"You keep doing that at the table and I'll reach in there and rip it out myself." James moved his hand steadily toward Harry's mouth, withdrawing it at the last second, when it was centimeters from his open mouth. Harry, of course, was nearly shaking with fear, having assumed that his father would actually do something like that. "No, buddy, we'll save that for the next one."

"The next one?" Harry stared at James quizzically. "You mean all of them are going to fall out?"

"All of them." James said, couching his words in a ridiculous air of gravity. Sarah, who was impatiently banging her fists on the table, blew raspberries at her father, obviously not realizing how important taunting her brother was. "One by one. All of them. And then you'll have no teeth left."

"I-- I don't want to lose all of my teeth!" Harry's eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth a little too roughly, knocking the tooth from its tenuously held place. He swallowed hard, thinking that perhaps he'd loosened a grain of rice previously stuck behind a tooth or something of the sort, and then blinked in surprise when he went to nudge his tooth and found the spot empty. "A--Appa? I think I..."

"You think you what?" James asked as Lily entered, pausing to sneak a kiss before buckling Anne and Mattie into their high chairs. 

"Think I ate it." Harry looked ready to cry and Lily waved James away to go get Drew before going over to her son. 

"What did he tell you, love?" She ran a hand through his hair as Harry chewed on his bottom lip to keep from crying.

"Told me all my teeth were gonna fall out and then I'd have no teeth, and then I got surprised and my tooth came out and--" Harry sniffled. "I swallowed it."

"You know", Lily began, thoughtfully tapping her chin with a finger. "When teeth go into your stomach, they don't dissolve like other food does. They just stay there. And then come out tooth shaped."

"That's  _disgusting_!" Harry shuddered. "Mum!"

Lily shrugged, shaking her head. "It's also true."

James entered with Drew just in time to catch Harry's iconic grimace, coupled with a shudder that could have shaken the whole world, if he'd put just a smidgen more effort into it.

"I-- You're lying. You're both lying." Harry declared resolutely, crossing his arms. "I bet it's all a joke."

"But what if it's not?" James raised an eyebrow and Sarah expertly copied her father's look, prompting a laugh from Lily. "What if it's the truth?"

"If it's the truth, then I'm gonna have no teeth in my mouth and lots of teeth in my stomach and it'll sound like a rattle when I walk cause I'll have lots of teeth inside my tummy." Harry declared, looking terrified. "I don't wanna do that. That's scary."

"Well, good luck, then." Lily winked at James before reaching into her pocket and fiddling with the ring her house keys were on. Harry looked up sharply at the noise, eyes widening in fear. "Oops, guess I moved too soon."

Harry ran out of the room like there was a fire lit under his feet, hands clapped over his mouth, and Lily stared after him, torn between comforting him and letting the joke play out a little longer.

"Well, we all learned something today." James smiled ruefully, looking between the remaining four children and his wife.

"Harry's a _weenie_." Sarah declared solemnly.

"That too."


	7. Gryffindors Are Bad at Finding [June 1986]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For rowanthesloth on tumblr, who wanted the prompt "baby drops something important down the toilet"
> 
> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 26  
> Harry-- almost 6  
> Sarah-- 28 months  
> Anne, Drew and Matt-- 18 months

"James, have you seen the keys to my bike?" Sirius burst in, looking panicked. There was hardly anything in the world, save for Remus being mad, that made Sirius more upset than any perceived damage to his motorcycle, and as he did with all things, Sirius demanded full attention for anything involving his bike. "I could swear I left them here half an hour ago."

"I've got five kids, mate. Someone's either eaten it, pooped it out or broken it by now." James sighed, running a hand through his hair. Thankfully, four of the five kids were otherwise occupied-- Harry and Sarah had gone over to Arthur and Molly's to play with Ron and Ginny, and Anne and Mattie were still asleep. Seeing an opening, Lily had volunteered to do the groceries and disappeared before James could get half a word in and protest that it was his turn. She needed a break from the triplets far more than he did, at the end of the day, but he was still regretting keeping his mouth shut. "Did you get the keys copied like I told you to last time you lost them?"

"Since when did you get  _responsible_ , Prongs?" Sirius pulled a face before lifting the letters off the end table to check if he'd left his keys under them. 

"Oh, I dunno, sometime around the point where I became the person who'll get sued if any of my little minions screw up." James lifted a couch cushion to check under it. "That's why I tell them all that if they're going to pull anything dangerous, not to leave proof behind that ties it to them. And, if possible, to frame someone else." 

"Remus is right. You're a  _horrible_ influence on children." Sirius huffed, coming up empty. "Where could they have gotten to?"

Just at that minute, Drew toddled out of the bathroom, chewing on his fingers, and Sirius suddenly remembered where he'd last seen his keys. James saw the dawning look of horror on his friend's face and shook his head.

"Sirius, you are  _not_  summoning it out of the toilet. If the keys break our pipes on the way out, we're sunk." James shuddered. "There are seven people in this house, Sirius."

"James, I just-- I need to  _try_ , at least!" Sirius rushed forward to the bathroom, pulling his wand from his back pocket as he ran. "Accio Keys!"

The keys, thankfully unharmed, flew out of the toilet and into his hand, and Sirius and James both heaved sighs of relief. However, slowly but surely, the water level in the toilet began rising and Sirius backed out of the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. "I should get going. Thanks for the help, mate, I'm really glad you were home!"

"You're paying for that, you absolute--" James called after his friend, who was trying to make as quick a retreat as possible. "We're revoking your godfather status!"

"You do realize that, if you die, they all go to Moony, then. So, technically, I still get them all in the end." Sirius winked. "Later, Prongsie!"

James groaned, waving his wand at the door to shut it before casting a charm to keep the water inside.

If anyone had told him what raising a teenager entailed, he would have avoided Sirius Black like the plague.


	8. Conversations With My Two Year Old [September 1986]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah's started talking, and boy, is it fun for James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James-- 26  
> Sarah-- 2.5

“Charu paappavoda kaal enga?” James asks, and Sarah lifts up her leg, wiggling it around before putting it back down. They are sitting across from each other on the carpet, waiting for Harry to get home from school. (Where’s Baby Charu’s leg?)

“Charu paappavoda… kannu enga?” He asks, and Sarah slaps her hands over her eyes, giggling. (Where’s Baby Charu’s eyes?)

“Inga irukke!” Sarah crows, pride evident in her voice. James grins. She’s definitely his daughter. (Here they are!)

“Charu paappavoda thambi thangai peyaru enna?” James asks, wondering how she will answer the question. (What’s Baby Charu’s little brothers and sister’s names?)

“Thangai peyaru Anju!” She says first, before frowning her cute little frown, just like her mother’s. She looks so much like Lily, when she’s frustrated, and James nearly laughs at the absurdity of seeing Lily’s frown on his face in his daughter. She is a good gift, this daughter they’ve given each other. “Thambi peyaru Adi. Innuru thambi peyaru Madhu!” (My baby sister's name is Anju! My baby brother's name is Adi and my other little brother is Madhu!)

“Andha thambi thangai ellaa enga irukka?” James asks, and Sarah grins. (Where are those brothers and sisters?)

“Thunginde irukkaa!” Sarah declares, shaking her head. (They’re still sleeping.)

“Kannamma, thungithaan aganum.” James says, reaching over to ruffle Sarah’s hair. “Andha mathiri kutti paappakallaa namba mathiri irukka mudiyaathe.” (Sweetheart, they’ve got to sleep like that. Little babies like that can’t be like us, can they?)

“Mudiyaathu.” Sarah says decisively, dragging the word out. (They can’t.)

“Kuzhandhela ezhupalaamaa?” James asks, smiling, and Sarah’s face lights up as she nods. “Thungi rendu manneram aachu.” (Shall we wake the kids? It’s been two hours since they slept off.)

Sarah bolts for the stairs, but stops halfway up them, turning to James. “Appa?”

“Ennadaa, kannamma?” He asks, jogging over to join her at her spot on the stairs. (What’s going on, sweetheart?)

“Anna varuvaana? School-lendhu?” She asks, glancing toward the front door, and James laughs. (Will big brother be home from school soon?)

“Ara manneratthu kulla.” James says, and Sarah’s quickly smiling again, and dashes up the stairs ahead of him. (Within half an hour.)

“Appa, Appa, Appa!” Sarah yells, from outside the babies’ room, and James sighs, before climbing up the rest of the stairs after her. 

Time for even more yelling.


	9. Nursery Rhymes [January 1987]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Potter men have some fun with nursery rhymes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kozha Kozha Kanne is basically just fun with memory for small children. It's like that one about the spider getting swallowed by progressively larger things that are swallowed by progressively larger things, except in Tamil. Anyway, it's always hilarious to watch kids tell it, so here's self-indulgent fluff.
> 
> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 26  
> Harry-- 6.5  
> Anne-- 25 months

"Appa? Are the babies sleeping?" Harry bellowed as he ran into his parents' bedroom at full tilt. 

Anne, who was not so much of a baby anymore but still demanded to be held by her father at all times, whimpered quietly, her face scrunching up as it turned bright red. James looked to Harry, letting Anne speak for herself.

"Uh oh." Harry said, grimacing. "Thungalaiyaa?" (She didn't sleep, did she?)

"Aathula nee mattum dhaan thungare." James said with a sigh, before shifting Anne in his arms to pat the empty space on the bed beside him. The triplets had been sick for the past few days, vomiting on everything and everyone in their vicinity, and that had made the onset of the terrible twos, which had begun in full force shortly before their second birthday, significantly more terrible. James couldn't remember it being this terrible with either Harry or Sarah, but he wouldn't put a serious case of rose colored glasses past himself. Harry clapped his hands, eagerly clambering up onto the bed to come sit beside his father. (You're the only one who sleeps in this house.)

"How come she's not sleepin'?" Harry asked, tickling Anne's toes. She seemed to like that, looking markedly less ready to cry, and James could've cried himself in relief. If Anne had cried, it would likely wake Drew, who had finally slept off just thirty minutes before. James was privately convinced Matt had some kind of super hearing, so despite being halfway across the house with Lily, he'd probably pick up on it too and wake right up. And then it'd be another two hours of work to get everyone fed and changed and ready to sleep again, by which point Sarah and Harry would be about ready for bed too. 

James groaned. If he'd known children were this much work-- he probably would've had them anyway, actually, so there was no point following that line of thought for too long.

"I don't know." James replied. "Maybe she's just not sleepy. How about you tell her a story? How's that, Anju kutti?" He tapped his daughter's nose lightly, and Anne growled menacingly, something she'd learned from Sirius and had yet to forget.

"Can I tell Kozha Kozha Kanne?" Harry asked excitedly. He'd only just managed to memorize the whole thing, and was dreadfully excited about telling everyone he knew. Even Remus and Sirius had been subjected to at least fifteen mostly wrong iterations of the tale, with Harry growing more and more frustrated every time he left out a part. Eventually, Harry had stomped off to his room and put himself in timeout, a new development that James and Lily were both thoroughly enjoying.

"Sure." James smiled. "Tell it in English, okay? You know that version better." Harry glowered at James, and James could feel a storm coming on. Messing with a six and a half year old was a decision even Sirius Black wouldn't make. "I mean, Anju doesn't know the story, so she won't tell you if you forget any bits." He backtracked. "And I won't either. And you probably won't forget any bits anyway. You've practiced so much. I'm so proud of you. I enjoy being your father so much."

"You're my favorite." Harry said with a grin. "Okay! Anju, you gotta listen up." He nodded seriously at his sister, who chose that moment to vomit all over herself. James sighed, wiped her face with the sleeve of his shirt, and motioned for Harry to get started. 

"She hates it when we change her clothes, so why don't you make that a little easier?" James said, shifting Anne in his arms as he got up from the bed. She lay her still messy face on his shoulder, and James winced. There went another shirt. There was a hamper full of clothes located on the other side of the room, and if he could just keep Anne occupied until she was in something dry, all sorts of crises could be averted. She hadn't quite realized what she'd done just yet, thanks to the general fuzzy feeling illness tended to lend her, and James was convinced that he had more than enough parenting experience to keep her out of the danger zone. "I bet she'll love her favorite big brother telling her a story."

"I'm her only big brother." Harry said, confused, but began anyway. "There were two flies and they were... They were going to get married? I think? And then the fly didn't know his name, and you need that to get married, so he decided to ask his friends! So he flewed for a little bit and then he saw a baby cow! And then the fly said 'kozha kozha kanne, en peyar enna'? What d'you think the calf said, Anju?" (Chubby little calf, what is my name?)

Anne remained silent, one hand fisted in James' t-shirt as he tried to put her down on the bed, and James praised every god he could think of while he tugged the shirt off to occupy her. She seemed happy to wave around the stained and sweaty fabric, and James heaved a sigh of relief as he got her out of her stained, wet onesie. 

"That's right!" Harry crowed, jubilant. "Cause babies don't talk! She's so smart. I love her."

"I'm so glad." James said, finally working the clean onesie over Anne's head. Anne wriggled her feet lethargically, arms reaching toward James, and James picked her back up again, letting her snuggle into his shoulder. "Come on then, keep going." He said, as he settled back onto the bed. 

"So then the fly went to the cow's mum and said 'kozha kozha kanne, kannin thaaye, en peyar enna', because the baby cow was still there? And the mummy cow didn't know what the fly's name was, so she said to go talk to the person watching the cows." Harry said. "Do you know what he said?" (Chubby little calf, mother of the calf, what is my name?)

James settled back against the headboard, rubbing Anne's back in circles, and shuts his eyes for a second, losing himself in the rhythm of the story he knows well. Anne's a familiar, comfortable weight on his chest, sweaty head tucked into the space between his cheek and his shoulder. Harry cuddled a little closer, one hand bunched up in James' undershirt, which is a bit wet, but he'll manage. It would dry out, and he only had to smell like vomit until the kids fell asleep for the night anyway.

"Appa, are you even listening?" Harry groused, poking James in the face.

"Of course I am." James said, even though he wasn't. "Keep going?"

"Sure!" Harry chirped happily, before launching back into the story again.

James made himself comfortable again, a smile on his face.

He had the best kids in the whole damn world.


	10. Where's Mattie? [March 1988]

The first time it happens, Lily and James write it off as a funny accident. They had put Anne, Drew, and Sarah down for their naps, only to notice the third triplet was nowhere to be found. The playpen in the living room was empty, and all the high chairs in the kitchen vacant. Harry was happily playing with Uncle Sirius in the backyard, who insisted that Matt hadn’t come outside with them.

“He’s only three.” Lily reasoned, peering underneath the sturdy furniture in the study. “He couldn’t have gone far.

“He can’t even reach doorknobs yet.” James agreed, a hint of nerves entering his tone as he hurried to search in the dining room.

It took twenty minutes of increasingly frantic searching before Matt was finally located- sleeping soundly in the bathtub.

* * *

The second time it happened was only a week after the first. James and Lily got the other children in on the search this time, turning it into something of a scavenger hunt.

Between the two of them and the four excited children, the house was torn apart in under half an hour. Lily silently thanked whoever might have been listening that she’d have magic to assist her in the cleanup.

Matt, as Drew happily discovered, was sitting in the back of the pantry with a handful of celery sticks. He seemed incredibly confused as to his parents’ relief.

* * *

By the time the fifth incident rolled around, Lily had realized that this would most likely be a regular thing. She had also realized that Drew had an uncanny knack for locating his brother. The last time he had gone missing, Drew had found him playing quietly behind a stack of old trunks in the attic.

“Adi? Buggy?” Lily called from the bottom of the stairs. There was a pause in James’ quiet reading voice before Drew toddled out of the living room, Anne trailing grumpily behind him with her raggedy anne doll clutched tightly to her chest.

“Amma?” He stared up at her with curious brown eyes. She crouched down to smile at him.

“Do you know where Madhav is, Buggy? It’s bathtime.”

Drew, who was a big fan of bathtime, lit up. “Ya huh!” He turned to patter down the hall, Lily and Anne following after him. He stopped to bang on the door to the cupboard under the stairs.

“In there?” Lily asked.

“Yeah!”

The redhead reached out to pull the door open, peering into the dimly lit closet. Sure enough, Matt was seated on the floor, tugging gently at a stuffed animal in his lap. He looked up at them, blinking slowly. “Hi Amma. Hi Adi. Hi Anju.” He said.

“Bathtime, Baby.” Lily said. Matt held his arms up and Lily reached into the dusty cupboard to pull him out. “Hanging out in there means you really need one.”

Anne shut the door once Matt and his monkey toy were safely in the hall again. “No baths!” She announced.

“You can take that one up with Appa, princess.” Lily chuckled.


	11. A Whole New Kind Of Storytime [August 1988]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 28  
> Sarah-- 4

Lily hummed to herself as she strode down the hall, a laundry basket balanced against her hip. She could always take Mrs. Weasley’s example and get all the housework done by magic (something she tended to do when things were rather hectic) but there was something more rewarding about doing chores the muggle way. Not that her children seemed to agree with her.

She had almost made it to the stairs when she heard it. A voice speaking in a low, rhythmic pattern. Talking too indistinctly for her to make out. Whoever it was, though, it wasn’t Sarah.

“Charu?” Lily called out, her feet already carrying her towards the voice. “Charu, where are you?”

“In my room, Amma!” Sarah yelled back, a little too quickly to pass under Lily’s radar. Knowing what she knew about her daughter, there was almost certainly something dangerous happening. “Doing something!”

Lily hurried up the stairs and down the hall, already abandoning her laundry basket in favor of tugging her wand out. She pushed the door open, poking her head inside. “What are you doing, honey?”

Sarah was sitting on the bed, a picture book open in her lap, and looked over at Lily in surprise. “Reading.” She looked thoughtful for a second, before shaking her head. “I wasn’t reading. The book was. Appa said he was gonna read it and then he didn’t. And then Hari said I should figure it out myself, and I really wanted to know the end and–”

“Charu, honey, slow down.” Lily laughed, stepping inside fully. She took a seat next to her daughter. “You wanna show me?”

“Okay.” Sarah nodded, before flipping the page. As if on request, the words on the page read themselves aloud. It was the same voice Lily had heard earlier, further confirming her suspicions. Sarah looked up at her mother expectantly. “Like that. I said pretty please the first time, then it did it.”

Lily grinned down at her daughter, reaching out to ruffle her hair. “That’s perfect, Charu. Good job with your manners, and even better with your magic!”

“Magic?” She frowned, looking confused for a split second, before nodding. That made sense. Of course books couldn’t read themselves to her on their own. That would be actually useful. “Cool.”

“Very cool.” Lily agreed. “Do you want to finish the book, or do you want ice cream? When Hari did magic the first time we gave him ice cream. Guess it’s your turn, right?”

“Book first.” Sarah held the book out to Lily. “You said the Muggle way’s more fun. Please?”

“Pretty please?” Lily smiled, already taking the book and opening back at the beginning.

“Everything okay in here?” James stuck his head into the room, relaxing when he noticed his wife and daughter were safe. “Heard some noise earlier.”

“Yeah.” Sarah piped up, nodding. “I don’t need you anymore.”

Lily, who had been ready to read the opening line, let out a loud and startled laugh as she fell back on Sarah’s bed.

“That’s mean.” James looked more confused than anything else. “Also, why?”

“I can make the book read itself!” Sarah said proudly. “So you don’t have to anymore.”

“She said pretty please.” Lily said.

“You could’ve just said it like that, kannamma.” James sighed. “Good job. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks for not reading to me.” Sarah said, looking entirely serious.

“You’re welcome.” James nodded.

“It’s alright, James. I still need you around.” Lily smiled cheekily at her husband. “There’s laundry to be put away, after all.”

“Great. I can hear Hari whining already and I haven’t even told him he’ll be doing it.” James said, rolling his eyes as he stepped back from the doorway. “Right. I’ll leave you to your book, then.”

Lily sat back up as James left the room, looping her arm around Sarah’s shoulders as she propped the book open. “Right then, here we are. In an old house in a green meadow lived an old woman and her husband of many years…”


	12. Lost: Prongslets In The Ball Pit [June 1989]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is never allowed to babysit by himself again. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ended up being a lot of Sarah and Sirius interaction and I'm pretty happy with how that turned out!
> 
> Ages:  
> Sirius-- 29  
> Harry-- 8  
> Sarah-- 5  
> Anne, Drew and Matt-- 4

“You know, they always _talk_ about losing kids in the ball pit, but I never thought we’d be the ones to do it.” Sirius whistled, long and low, as he looked around the enclosed ball pit. There were too many kids in there, and too many of them had black hair to clearly pick out the five Prongslets he'd been put in charge of that morning. At least he had one of the five, he mused, as Sarah, who'd decided to leave the ball pit behind as soon as she'd noticed a baby's diaper fall off of him and into the general mess of colored plastic spheres, piped up.

"Not us. Just you." She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the right, and Sirius shuddered, wondering how a five year old had mastered the Lily Evans Thousand Yard Stare already. 

"Fine." Sirius rolled his eyes, picking at the frayed end of the zipper on his jacket, as Sarah began scribbling on the back of some scrap of paper he'd had in one of his pockets. She'd had a crayon stuffed in her pants pocket, luckily, and he'd let her go to town on the back of a receipt from something or the other. " _Maybe_ just me."

"Just you." She repeated, scrunching up her nose before returning to staring about the little Muggle playplace that Sirius had taken them to. "Not even maybe."

"Not even maybe." Sirius repeated, sighing. "Fine. You win. Can you see any of the rest of the Prongslets?"

"Harry's over there." Sarah surveyed the ball pit before pointing out her oldest brother, who had climbed in there despite the sign saying that it was strictly for those six and under. Harry, however, was known to be a fan of ignoring rules, and she was quite sure Sirius would have followed him in as well, if he hadn't been put in charge of watching them. "And Mattie's right where you left him."

"That leaves..." Sirius frowned. "Two more, yeah? Ginger and Tiny Prongs."

"Is that what you call us?" Sarah frowned. 

"Prongslet, Mini Moony, Ginger, Tiny Prongs and Other Prongs." Sirius counted the five kids off on his fingers, grinning as he noticed Sarah's exasperated groan at being labeled Mini Moony. "That's all of you."

"Uncle Pads!" Harry called, rushing over with Mattie trailing along behind him, clutching one of Harry's hands. Harry was practically dripping sweat, his hair sticking up in clumps that resembled a cartoon character more than anything else, and his lopsided grin revealed a few gaps where he'd lost some teeth. Mattie drifted to Sarah's side as soon as he noticed her and she ruffled his hair to comfort him before going back to scribbling on the reciept that Sirius was thankful he'd forgotten to give to Remus to organize. "Found Mattie, but Anne and Drew are in there somewhere."

"Y'know, I may not be ready for kids." Sirius mused aloud as his nephew ran back into the fray, searching for his two younger siblings, and Sarah snorted.

"Not even maybe." She stuck out her tongue and Sirius mimicked the action, resting his palms on the sides of his head before wiggling his fingers to prompt a laugh from the little girl. "You're a giant baby."

"The  _best_ giant baby." Sirius winked. "And your favorite uncle."

"Not my  _favorite_." Sarah shrugged, looking over to the ball pit to see Drew, who had dragged himself back to the surface, chewing on a plastic ball. "But in the top two."

"Out of two." Sirius sighed. "Right?"

"Right." Sarah giggled. "You're in second place."

"Second place is first loser." Sirius groaned, still trying to remember how many kids he had to find before the playplace closed. 

"You have lost a lot of things." Sarah piped up, little Mattie uncertainly nodding along.

"This isn't even a half of it." Sirius snorted, before motioning to the kids to stay where they were.

There was a giant ball pit to dig through and ten minutes to do it in, and Sirius was ready to fight anyone who said babysitting was an easy job.


	13. Father-Daughter Bonding [April 1991]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> James and Lily-- 31  
> Sarah-- 7

“Appa?” Sarah asks, when she is seven. James recognizes the look on her face, knows a serious talk is coming, so he sits down at the table beside her. Sarah has never liked affection, but she, like the rest of his children, needs someone within arm’s reach to function. Sarah frowns, pushing around a toy car Drew’s left lying on the table with the tip of her finger, until James nudges her shoulder with his elbow.

“What’s going on?” He asks, treading carefully. This child is both quicker to anger than the others and better at hiding it, and James has all the grace of an elephant, when it comes to navigating tough subjects. Sarah sighs, flipping the car over by pressing down hard on the back, and turns to James.

“How come I don’t look like Amma?” There it is. The question James has been dreading for years. He’s only just handled Harry’s questions on the subject, and here Sarah comes, with all the speed of a train, trying to keep up with her brother. James shrugs, rubbing at his forehead, and Sarah’s face falls slightly. She was expecting an answer. James’ heart sinks.

“Dunno, kannamma.” James says, fingers tapping against the back of the chair she is sitting in. Sarah looks at him, trying to hide the fact that she is expecting something monumental, and James almost wants to laugh. Somehow, this little person trusts him more than anyone else. It’s a miracle and terrifying, all at once. “Science or something. Genetics. You were bound to look like one of us, and you ended up like me. Not all bad, right? I’m not too much of a mess.”

“You make lots of messes.” Sarah says astutely, and James pats her head. “Amma doesn’t like that.”

“There are a lot of things Amma doesn’t like about me, but she’s dealing just fine.” James says, shaking his head as he smiles. “Where’d your question come from?”

“Was just thinking.” Sarah says, and starts fiddling with the car again. “People always call Anne pretty and stuff, but no one says that about me.”

“Well, if it makes any difference, I think you’re the prettiest girl in the whole wide world.” James says, grinning. “Better than Amma even.”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause I look like you.” Sarah says, eyes narrowing, and James laughs. “Stop laughing!”

“See, you’re the prettiest in the world, and so am I. We’re both the best.” James says, finally bridging the gap and wrapping his arms around his daughter, who squirms for a second before succumbing to the inevitable, patting his chest awkwardly instead of hugging him back. “Feel a little better now?”

“I guess.” Sarah says, and that is more of a start than James was hoping for. “You’re not kidding?”

“Never.” James says, as he lets go of her. “See, I only make horrible jokes. And was that horrible?”

“No.” Sarah admits, frowning. “It didn’t sound horrible, so I guess you weren’t lying.”

“Appas never lie.” James says, nodding seriously. “It’s a contract we all sign. Of course, you're allowed a few mess ups with the first one, but second one on, you can’t lie at all.”

“You told Matt that Puchandi would come get him if he hid in the closet again.” Sarah says dryly. “The boogeyman is fake.”

“Yeah, well.” James shrugs. “Never said I was perfect. I only said you were.”

“Ha ha.” Sarah says, enunciating clearly, but the smile on her face says otherwise.


End file.
